YouTube Hates You

6 comments

So I wanna be a lady… but YouTube is making me it’s b&%#%.

Did you know that you too can be beautiful? Did you know that you can create the perfect cat eye, sew in your own weave, contour your face like the stars and do your own acrylic nails at home? But wait, there’s more! You can distress your jeans and cut up your tee shirts in a way that doesn’t make you look homeless and desperate.

And you know what else? It’s soooo easy.

If you are one of those women who don’t give two hoots about making your own anything and who could care less about how much you’ll save, then this isn’t for you. If you are a crafter at heart; if you’ve got a fierce competitive spirit that says if they can do it then so can I; if you think everything is just too damned expensive, or if you’re simply broke and want to look fabulous… then here’s looking at you kid.

Is there any DIY project that I don’t want to attempt? Umm, no.

And for that reason YouTube, and let’s not forget our wonderfully dangerous friend Pinterest, has me deeply wound in their clutches and there is no escape but to change the very essence of who I am completely. I want to DIY everything! My last dance with dementia was exploring how to change the tensioner and timing belt in my car. Two or three YouTube videos later I admitted defeat. But this is admittedly an extreme example of my aggressive DIY nature, and I can only blame myself for that misguided delusion. However, when it comes to the “basics” like, say everything else, You Tube is like parents who tell their children that they can accomplish anything that they put their minds to. Sure Billy, anyone can get to the moon and anyone can be a Coast Guard diver if they want it badly enough…. Lies. A heart might burst with want and never be talented enough to accomplish something. That’s why it’s called having a TALENT. If we all had it it’d be like having lungs or eyeballs. Common.

That’s not to say that if I had unlimited time and resources that I couldn’t accomplish, to some acceptable degree, the skills that seemingly everyone has been able to master; but I don’t. So I won’t. At the end of the day, all I’m suggesting is that DIY videos come with a failure warning.

Failure Warning: 200 attempts before any negligible success.

Failure Warning: Your cupcake will look nothing like this cupcake.

Failure Warning: You will be shocked at the results. In a bad way.

Failure Warning: You will spend tons of money in your attempt to save some.

But after 200 you’ll feel very proud of your small success, and your cupcake will give everyone a good laugh, and the shock will toughen you up for future disappointments and the money spent will be on learning experiences and you can always go on Pinterest to find new ways of reusing those mounting craft supplies. Let the cycle continue. DIY till I die.

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6 comments on “YouTube Hates You”

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