Just a few years back, I decided, out of sheer astonishment, to start writing down some of the (things) my students were saying. And because I am a scatterbrain, I eventually lost the paper that had been recording them. I found that paper recently. It’s one raindrop in the ocean of ridiculous statements and questions that teachers face everyday, but I might as well share this fragment. Enjoy America’s future everybody. My gift to you.
“So, uh, do we just do what the instructions on the paper say?”
“I’m sorry, but how do you write a diagnostic essay? I don’t know if they taught me that.”
“So, when the prompt says, ‘Write to your teacher’ does that mean I should be writing to you?”
Teacher: For your warm-up, I want you to write the meanings of your vocabulary words, without using your notes.
Student: Can we use a dictionary?
Student: Can we use our phones?
Teacher: No phones.
Student: Can we listen to music on our phones?
This one was donated to me by a history teacher.
Teacher: So, to review. They came over on the…?
Students: (blank stares at image of Mayflower projected onto the board)
Teacher: The May…..
Remember that say, ‘There’s no such thing as a stupid question.’ It’s stupid.