Ramblings of Motherhood

I’m sitting outside a coffee shop watching a mother strap her kid into a stroller. When the hell did I stop doing that? It felt like the stroller phase would last forever. I remember feeling hot by the time I walked into a place after the unfolding and unbuckling and hoisting and buckling of the car seat to stroller dance. I couldn’t wait for it to end.

Oh, okay, now this mother is walking around to the other side of herΒ minivan and taking out another smaller child. Smaller! Oh shit, I remember, I used to do that too! Apparently, I was a superhuman a few years back. And after all that activity to get them into the coffee shop, it looks like she’s taking her coffee to go. She didn’t sit down to drink it. She’s packing the kids back into the car. This is real life people.

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But I realize that I’m experiencing the golden age of parenthood right now. Oh yeah, 12 and 9 is beautiful. No toddler incessant crying and clinging and snot. No teenage misery and testing and changes. We aren’t in the water. It’s just lapping at our toes. Anything lapping creates excitement, and for better or worse, I love a bit of excitement. Did I tell you that my son declared recently that his sister and I are gonna die young? That’s some fucked up shit to say given I feed them on a regular basis and have only locked myself out of the car 3 times in one year. I’ve got AAA Roadside Assistance; only people who live long spend money on something like that.

But I asked him to do something the other day and he didn’t groan or anything. That’s something. I’m gonna take it. The screaming and stinky diaper, I mean the cute baby phase, is over, but now I get the joy of being called a questionable adult in tones of hilarious sarcasm by a 12-year-old. The joys of parenthood keep unfolding and seriously, Dear Reader, it’s awesome.

 

21 thoughts on “Ramblings of Motherhood

  1. “No toddler incessant crying and clinging and snot.” lol…good riddance to that shit…! I can totally relate to this… my one and only is 11 yo and he wants to discuss sex, not the birds and the bees… “mommy can we talk about sex?”

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    1. Whoa, that kid is not playing around! Props to him for asking straight up instead of going to the netherworlds of the internet or friends as a primary source. Still, my mouth would have fallen right open. And yet… beats crying and snot doesn’t it?

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    1. I’ll love a tiny little hand and little pea sized toes on any day, but the 24 hours for me was a bit rough. It’s so perfect for them that they’re so adorable at that age. My favorite is to get my nose into the crooks of their fat necks and sniff all the baby smell. And, of course, I’ve always been fond of a dose of awkwardness and sarcasm, so 12 is perfect for me, lol.

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        1. Aww, I freaking love stuff like that. I used to write them down and then I forgot to keep doing it. I hate it when people want to correct them on stuff like that. I always silence them, like shhh let this happen for as long as possible. So adorable.

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  2. As a non mother, I find this really interesting. I feel like can handle the snotty stage since i do it on a daily basis, but its the preteen stage and everything after that I know nothing about. Your Austin and Annie seem pretty cool though πŸ˜„

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    1. They are some pretty cool kids and really good as well, not to brag. I’m not quite sure I even know how to handle a real misbehaving kid! I just want to crack jokes, have good conversation, and not get talked back to. There’s just no reasoning with babies. They insist on everything! I do know women who adore the baby stage, so you aren’t a weirdo, if you were wondering… we need people like you who can be in a room full of babies and feel at home.

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  3. Haha I am imagining Austin rolling his eyes at ya but well they are both at cute ages. He is a pre-teen — which you might be looking back to with misty eyes soon
    πŸ™‚ and Annie is too young to roll eyes yet πŸ˜›
    They are the same age as my niece and nephew who live in Seattle so I can imagine the stories that must amuse you everyday as they pop out of their impressionable young brains.

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    1. I think that’s why I’ve always liked teaching middle school kids. They’ve got this magical mix of innocence, unexpected wisdom and knowledge, sense of wonder, and adult edge. I kind of imagine them swirling inside. Outside: regular human body in stasis. Inside: swirling colors and personas and ideas and questions. I love to see them discover.

      Austin knows that he’d lose his eyeballs if he rolled his eyes at me. Im sure every parent thinks their teenager will be different though! I guess we’ll just put on our seatbelts.

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      1. Hahaha I love thy spirit Lyz! Lose his eyeballs. I am guffawing, in an unladylike way, so pls turn away.
        ‘Regular human body in stasis…swirling colours and personas…’ what a beautiful way of expressing the changes that can befuddle an adult. xx

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  4. I have a two and a half year old and though I do not miss the total baby stages (Im sorry it just too stressful when you can’t go anywhere without worrying about their routine and packing a million things), I think I will miss twos just because she is so silly and cuddly. I will however not miss the tantrums! I have heard that around 8 is a wonderful reason for just the things you are saying.

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    1. Hey Abbey! I’ve been clearing out an old computer and going through pictures and videos and I’ve got to say I didn’t realize just how adorable the 3 and 4 year old stage was. Their voices are so sweet and tiny. I definitely miss that. But yes, working around routines and lugging tons of stuff was no fun for me. I think women have all kinds of experiences and it’s nice to hear the variety. For me, I stand with the 8 rangers (so far). I also think it’ll be cool to see them as adults and friends.

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  5. Haha what a story! It’s so strange that she did all that work to get them out of the car, get her coffee to go, and then stuff them back in. It seems like a lot to go through just to have to do it again! Your kids seem always seem like lovely and funny people!

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    1. I guess she really had to have her Starbucks. There was no drive thru, so she soldiered on. I hated when places had no drive thru! It’s like, think of the parents! Lol. And thanks girlie, the kids are great, always entertaining. 😊

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