iwannabealady.com going vegan humor lifestyle blogger

Yoga Vegan Hippie Women, and Me.

iwannabealady.com going vegan humor lifestyle blogger

I’m not 100% vegan. I’d say I’m working my butt off to make progress all the time, but to be honest, it isn’t always a rollicking good time. I see such an eyeful of these slender yoga vegan hippie women on YouTube who travel the world with their slender yoga vegan hippie soulmates, and it doesn’t look like me walking through the grocery store, salivating at things I didn’t even care much about a few months ago.

Let’s take a walk shall we? Because I try to manage my weight, I rarely buy cream cheese. If it’s in my fridge, it’s good as gone. So I walk right past it every week. Recently, I walked past the cream cheese and my knees wobbled. And when walking past the frozen pizza section, I’m pretty sure I bit my lower lip like an impatient porn star. When the store didn’t have my favorite vegan who knows what strips, I almost ripped my shirt off in the middle of the store like a werewolf in transition. I almost tore off my nail staring at a milk chocolate candy bar looking up at me while I stood in line at the register. I don’t even care for chocolate that much.

Then there’s the bakery. I’ve never been huge on dessert, but here I stand wondering: If I slap someone, they just might hit me in the face with a guava cheese pastry. It could happen. I search for possible victims; someone who’ll think outside of the box and not retaliate with a punch to the face. I might be willing to risk it. It’s better than standing over the damn pastries like a dog in heat. I want to shout out that I’m seconds away from dry humping a cheesecake. I try and remember that the sweet breast milk of cows was not made for me. The sweet breast milk of cows. I find it strange that most humans wouldn’t drink a human woman’s breast milk, even though it’s sweet and nutritious and made for humans. How come that’s gross? Actually, people get livid when they see a 4 year old breastfeeding. If that kid can talk, he should not be sucking on your tit lady! By the time the kid is old enough to talk, he should be fully transitioned to guzzling the tit milk of a cow. Schools agree. School cafeterias are covered in posters of athletes and actors smiling with cow breast milk beautifully framing their upper lip. The captions read Build Strong Bones and Does A Body Good, but what they are really saying with their eyes is, I suck cow tits and I like it. But who doesn’t, right? Milk is delicious. Just don’t forget that human breast milk is too. You’re wondering how I know and it’s because I’ve tried it. Don’t you dare think that’s gross.

(By the way, dairy products have been shown to significantly increase a woman’s chances for breast cancer and men aren’t immune either. Isn’t it cute how the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation encouraged women everywhere to go out and buy yogurt for the cure? Of course, Yoplait had been a corporate sponsor at the time… wtf….).

But eating vegan is not all bad. Actually, there’s plenty of good. There’s the pleasure of a paired down diet and feeling positive about what I’m doing with my body, the environment, and animal creatures. There’s the feeling of being more in tuned with nature as my visits to the produce section are lasting longer. I’m not as surrounded by colored boxes and refrigerators at the grocery store. There’s the weight I’ve lost and the increased energy. There’s the saving money on groceries. I feel lighter. My conscience feels a fair bit lighter as well.

I can’t promise that I’ll never eat pizza again, or eggs, or cake. Somewhere in my future is a hot chicken wing dripping in sauce. The way I’ve been living is that I allow myself up to 3 non vegan meals a week, but I aim for less than that. For now, I take things day by day and make a genuine effort to resist. I don’t put food in my fridge that’ll later tempt me. Most of the food and drinks that I consume are animal free. Most of the time I don’t miss them. It’s when I leave the comfort of my home that things get tougher; but my body is adjusting. I don’t blowhorn about the dangers of consuming animal products because sometimes I do it too, but I would like to encourage all of you to get informed about how great going vegan can be.

So that is my honest truth. I am not a yoga vegan hippie woman who gets sick at the thought of eating meat or cheese (oh, dear sweet cheese, sharp cheese, creamy cheese) although I wish I was. I’m probably like many of you who want to make a change and are fighting tongue and belly to make those changes. Take it one meal at a time or one week at a time or whatever you must do to make progress. I say this because I care and I want you to be happy and healthy. And the planet is dying primarily because of the agriculture industry, not fossil fuels and plastic. And also just in case you run into me at a restaurant and I’ve got a roll of sushi halfway down my throat, I don’t want to have to explain. From one imperfect human to the next, may the force be with you.

What the Health

Cowspiracy: The Sustainability Secret


 

My name is Lyz-Stephanie and I want to inspire you to live a more interesting, fulfilling and beautiful life. Every day we can do something to make our lives happier and richer, make our minds more active and engaged. I’m on the journey. Will you join me?

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24 thoughts on “Yoga Vegan Hippie Women, and Me.

  1. I hear you girl… these Instagram vegan hippie slim women seem to have eaten one kale salad and magically transformed into Victoria’s Secret models; I’m just over here baking vegan cookies lol. Keep at it, great post 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha, thank you! How are the cookies coming? I ate one the other week, my first one, and it was awful. I’ll have to check you out and see about getting a decent cookie around here. I’m on a mission for a delicious oatmeal raisin. Thanks for coming by, and the follow darling. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “I’m pretty sure I bit my lower lip like an impatient porn star.” I DIED at this! haha! You really perfectly summed up the struggles of what is supposed to be a “lifestyle change” you know its for the best, but damn it all if there won’t be at least one more cream cheese encounter in your life lol! I tried the vegan raw thing, nothing heated above 118 degrees. I felt great! and smug! and thin! and also like I was missing out on hot food. lol Love you girl!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey my love! I’ve heard whispers of the raw diet but I’ve been terrified of hearing too much lest I’m convinced to go that route. Unless they can make rice cook at less than 118 degrees, I’m going to cover up my ears like a 3 year old and sing la la la. Anyway, doing vegan and raw for any period of time is a massive accomplishment in my book!

      We all want to achieve smugness, don’t we? Haha. Love you tooo.

      Like

  3. This is me! Well, partially haha. I told my friend the other day, “I’m like 60% vegan… unless this creamer has dairy in it, in which case I’m 30% vegan.” Basicly I’m 30% creamer 😉 haha I need to buy more almond milk creamer than I do.

    Other than that, pizza is probably my most non-vegan item. Gosh, pizza ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha, Amy people are always asking me what am I and I say that I don’t need labels lol. I’ll say that I’m about 95% most weeks. I’ve got to by the vanilla flavored almond milk sweetened for it to be of any use to me. You should give it a try. Pizza is simply on a mission to take me down!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If I get can get to being 90% vegan, I would be happy. Occasional exceptions and pizza being that 10% lol.

        And yes, I have to heavily creamify my coffee for me to enjoy it, so I definitely need a good flavored almond milk creamer. I’ve wondered about making it homeade to save moolah, but I don’t know if I’m quite that committed 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yeah, I want to make everything homemade and never feel up to it.

          I’ve taken to drinking my coffee black during the week. Weekends feel like a treat with milk and sugar. So now I do vanilla almond milk and sugar. It’s not creamy at all so don’t get your hopes too high; sometimes just seeing the lighter color and smelling a flavor help, lol. But seriously.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Me!! The last few weeks have been full of me guilting myself over not being a “good” enough vegan. I totally needed to read this post as part of my re-evaluation. Bless you, lady! 🙂 I also fully DIED at you referring to them as yoga vegan hippie women! There is no more worthy or true description haha

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so fucking inspired right now I could throw my caramel macchiato in the sink.
    Ok that was a fucking lie.
    But really- I am inspired. I’ve been fighting with weight loss and I don’t talk about that shit much because well “GIRL WHAT DO U MEAN! You look GREAT I WISH I LOOKED LIKE YOU” well fuck you susan. Maybe I still want to better myself. Don’t judge me just because you’re bigger than me and “I’m” your “goal” because there’s some hot bitch out there who’s MY goal so can we just not judge and let eachother live! Also- I just posted a piece of one of my next posts here so ya just got a preview lmfao!!!! I love u girl. Thank you for your encouragement. I’m going to start running soon! As soon as something starts chasing me.

    Also I almost fucking died with the whole vision of you at the grocery store trying to survive lmfao I can’t deal! And the cow breast thing… OMFG lol “I suck on cow tit” LMFAOOOO I can’t!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well aren’t you just making my day! I know exactly what you mean by people feeling I should be content because it might be where they’d be happy. We all have different goals. I saw a female body builder in the gym today and was thinking, I’m not anywhere near what she wants to look like. I don’t want her look either.

      I’m so looking forward to your post. The preview is edge of your seat thriller, and I see Susan is up to no good again hahaha. Also, “as soon as something starts chasing me” 😂 You got me with that one. I busted out laughing, literally lol. I’ll be doing another Journey Back to Fitness post soon. We’ll be swapping stories 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I really like this post!
    I think I’m slowly become one of those ‘Yoga Vegan Hippie women’ you talk about haha.
    My advice on the whole vegan thing: try going fully vegan for a month. There’s a certain amount of time it takes for your body to stop wanting addictive things like cheese and meat. If you keep eating them sporadically your body will keep wanting them.
    Also: eat all the food you want, but vegan! There’s so many great vegan pizza’s out there (I don’t know where you live but I’m sure they’re available). If you ever want any help or advice please let me know. I love to help people on their vegan journeys 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree with you on the best route being to go 100%. I eat a ton of food and you don’t have to tell me twice! One of the best parts of eating healthy is being able to fill up on more food. I think the perception is that vegans are starving, but I find that I’m able to eat so much more.
      My biggest struggle may be getting my kids on board, especially since they’ve never been big fans of vegetables (my fault). We’re working on it though. Thanks for your support and I’ll have to check you out. ☺

      Liked by 1 person

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