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Embrace Your Feminine

Yes, we ladies like to complain about our wombs and ovaries, childbirth, period cramps and hormones. Complaining, if we’re being honest, can feel damn good. Nothing like a little girl talk about sore nipples, hot flashes, widening hips and unsatisfied clits to spice up our evenings. I get it, and I’m with you. But how about we shut up for a bit and embrace the soft moon-child that is our feminine selves.

Let’s take a journey back to the 80s. Picture the woman behind her desk. What does she look like? More specifically, what is she wearing? Whether it’s red, black or blue, it’s likely a suit. And not just any suit. It’s a sharp-shouldered fortification against House Lannister.*

embrace your feminine iwannabealady.com donatella versace

*We all know that there’s nothing that can prepare anyone for the Lannisters.

The Head and the Heart

As a teenager, my dreams of standing in front of a jury– delivering a jaw-dropping argument full of logic and eloquence– never included a dress of floaty or clingy material. The goal in my mind was to look as strong (translation: masculine) as possible. I grew up in the age of girl power and girl power meant that women could also be strong, driven, decisive, competitive– all great traits associated with masculinity. But what the girl power (women’s lib) movement didn’tt do was encourage women to flex our feminine muscles. Qualities like beauty, sensitivity, intuition, creativity and sensuousness weren’t given the same PR. And while 2 inch thick shoulder pads have gone out of style, women still aren’t giving their femininity the attention it deserves.

embrace femininity iwannabealady.com farah fawcett quote

Masculine energy leans toward results and is based on logic and outcomes. Feminine energy is about being and experiencing. This is why qualities such as beauty and creativity are associated with feminine qualities. While we need the masculine to make progress in life, we need the feminine to enjoy the journey.

[Recommended viewing: We need to restore femininity]

The Lady Parts

And femininity isn’t just about the inward heart stuff. It’s about the physical stuff too.   Did you know that our brains are synced up with our cycles in more ways than emotional wreck/not emotional wreck? Our periods are part of a four part super cycle of awesomeness. Each week of the month, our brain chemistry changes along with where we are in the cycle of hormonal ratios.

Week One: Follicular Phase– at this time of the month, women are at their most creative.

Week Two: Ovulatory Phase– we have the best communication skills and the most energy

Week Three: Luteal Phase– we are very detail-oriented at this time

Week Four: Menstrual Phase– our left and right brains are playing well together, making it the best time to evaluate and make assessments.

Imagine if we started using our bodies to help us be more badass? Worked with it instead of bitching at it? Harnessed our unique feminine power and told others how awesome it is? I think it’s time that we stop using “our bodies can make babies!” as our only claim to superhero-dom.

embrace your feminine iwannabealady.com gloria steinem quote

[Recommended Viewing: Loving your lady parts as the path to success, power & global change]

The Sexy Parts

embrace your feminine iwannabealady.com dolly parton quote

Ever heard of feminine wiles? The term can often be applied with a negative connotation, but truth is, the female form and feminine energy is a thing of beauty. Instead of simply accepting our feminine side, or waking it up for mate hunting, let’s strive to embrace being a woman every day. We need it and the world needs it.

Women are often taught from a young age to contain our femininity. Women who sway their hips too much are seen as loose and looking for attention– not the type of woman we want to be. In her book, Powerful and Feminine: How to Increase Your Magnetic Presence and Attract the Attention You Want,* Rachel Jayne Grover discusses a dilemma that many women, including myself, have spent considerable time worried about.

“… I had been fearful of appearing too feminine or too sensual because I didn’t want to have to deal with unwanted attention from men– what if they wanted something from me that I didn’t want to give? I was scared around females too– would they judge my self-love and self-expression as arrogance?”

Of course, feminine doesn’t have to mean outright sexy (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Femininity is about sensuality, expressiveness, beauty and openness, and these qualities can be expressed in a variety of ways. It’s about time that we raise the value of femininity in our own lives and in the world.

embrace your feminine iwannabealady.com shakira quote

Tips for Embracing Our Feminine

  1. Dance. Femininity is about embracing expression and openness. Dance is an ancient art form that allows us to feel connected with our bodies. Instead of having the television on while doing the dishes, why not try some music that you can’t help but move to? Let yourself relax and embrace how good it feels to be connected to your body.
  2. Float like a butterfly. There’s a reason we don’t see flowy dresses in courtrooms and politics. There’s something about light, thin, gauzy fabric that screams feminine. Conversely, fabrics that cling to the body and emphasize curves are also associated with feminine qualities. The feeling of soft fabric caressing your body as you move is a treat and raises our feminine energy. (Men gave up ruffled silk shirts a long time ago. That was their loss. Let’s not give it up as well). We all love our skinny jeans, but put on a pair of pants that allows your booty a little jiggle room and you instantly feel more connected to your feminine self.
  3. Adorn yourself. Belly dancers are known for their beautiful adornment. While you may not choose to walk around with bells around your waist, you can use adornment to feel more feminine. I can almost always be found wearing an ankle bracelet. Some of them make just a little noise and some announce my presence as I walk into a room. Maybe you’ll choose a pretty pin to place in your hair, or a jeweled brooch for your plain white tee, or a delicate necklace to accentuate your neck. Either way, don’t be afraid to adorn yourself.
  4. Get creative. Creative expression is a hallmark of femininity. Draw, paint, make music, embroider, make films. Engage in activities that focus on the joy of the experience and not just outcomes.
  5. Get into nature. There’s a reason we call it Mother Nature. The natural world is full of feminine quality. Sit outside in the morning or evening and listen to the birds singing. Observe the way that all natural things are working together for the greater good. Think of the many ways that nature nurtures us. Soak it in and appreciate its feminine qualities.
  6. Ladies’ night. There’s nothing like a good night hanging with other women to remind us of the unique energy that we share. Don’t neglect spending quality time with other women and connecting over shared experiences. It’s a good time to bitch about those wonderful ovaries.
  7. Get sensual. This is one of my favorites. Because it deals with all of the senses, there are so many ways to apply this quality. Light candles for dinner. Slow down and appreciate the subtle flavors of food. Spend time oiling your full body. Use scents to enhance a mood. Look for ways to make every day things more pleasant and beautiful.
  8. Feminine is not frivolous and inappropriate. We need to stop perpetuating the idea that feminine things are silly, frivolous and less important, or that displaying feminine traits in a sensual or sexual way is in some way shameful.

[Recommended viewing: Dare to be feminine for gut’s sake]

Now, I’d love to hear from you! What’s been your experience growing up feminine? Were you encouraged to view femininity as a strength? Were you encouraged to embrace your sensuality? How do you plan on embracing your feminine power?


*Amazon affiliate link

Side note: The links that I add to my posts are here because I truly believe that the information will enhance what I’ve written. I love learning and I love to pass on what I learn to you all. There’s a wealth of knowledge in them, and they’re absolutely worth the click. If you can’t get to them now (because you’re at work and reading in secret) then save this post for later. I promise you won’t be sorry! Please like and share with all the ladies in your life.


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My name is Lyz-Stephanie and I want to inspire you to be more connected to yourself and the world, to find beauty in simple pleasures, and to have more adventures. Every day we can do something to make our lives happier and richer, make our minds more active and engaged. I’m on the journey. Will you join me?

 

12 thoughts on “Embrace Your Feminine

  1. I enjoyed this post and I fully agree with you on each and every point, Lyz. I think we all have been, at some point or the other, told to stash away our femininity (Kardashians excluded) because why expose ourselves to attention. But the wonders of leaving my callow young years behind is that I learn the importance of going with what goes with my life, not what society dictates, and that is my simple way of embracing my feminine power. Bat those lashes if I have to. xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My goodness, I agree. The older I get the more I start saying screw this, I’ll do what I want. I’m reminded of blue haired old ladies who say and do whatever they feel and make no apologies for it. I’ll be taking note of your saying “the importance of going with what goes with life.” xo

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I resisted every ounce of femininity growing up—no tears, show no weakness, use my logic brain. Figured out how to succeed at a man’s game…until I realized it wasn’t truly me. I can now look most men in the eye and say you’ll never have all the skills I do because I have learned yours and embrace my sacred feminine. True strength is knowing when to yield. I am grateful to have learned that lesson!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Kris, for sharing! I love the point you make about having cultivated the masculine and feminine and how that adds to your strength. Was there It’s good to hear that you came around to what made you feel the most natural. A true happy ending. May I ask why you were so intent on resisting your feminine side?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am an oldest of 2 girls, and there was definitely a time when I thought my parents (dad especially) really wanted a boy. That was part of it, plus being “smart” (math) and “athletic” I frequently got put in with the boys and naturally wanted to compete. Our culture so strongly emphasizes masculine traits and especially growing up in the 80s and 90s, I think ironically strong women showed up with masculine traits. I remember vividly being told not to cry or show emotions. I’m highly empathic now as a result, I can feel emotions even those not being verbalized.

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  3. I’m no so sure that I can agree with the points about Inherently feminine traits and all that… That ideology and viewpoint is, ultimately, not founded in anything more than a wiggly, malleable cultural worldview that’s changed a million times over the course of Human history (hell, even the idea of the Sacred Feminine was largely a construct of the 60’s).

    That being said: As a direct victim of Militant Radical Feminism and all its anti-feminine toxicity? I can definitely get behind the message of this post in general- and it’s one I talk about quite frequently (less now, but much more on the original iteration of my blog).

    Regardless of your views on Feminine vs Masculine and whether or not they’re some tangible, mystical energy thing with inherent and definable qualities… It really is high time we stop culturally devaluing those traits considered “Feminine”- especially under the misguided notion that rejecting them now for the sake of Feminism is any different than devaluing them then because “women are inferior”. Because when it all boils down to the bones, there’s no such thing as a masculine or feminine trait. There’s just traits… Traits that are all important and are needed for a healthy, well rounded individual regardless of sex.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can absolutely agree with much of what you say here. I did try to make a point of not assigning masculine and feminine to a particular gender as, yes, gender is largely a social construct and both sexes embody all traits. And I also feel like I can’t discount the role of hormones and physiology in shaping us. I do feel that there’s predisposition at play, a mix of nature and nurture.

      Like sexuality, gender moves along a spectrum and masculine/feminine are ways to define that spectrum. I think that environment and science are very entwined and different for everyone.

      I often wonder at how difficult it must be for men to be always stifling the parts of themselves that aren’t considered appropriate. I have this thing, I love to watch men dance because it makes me feel so good seeing them be free in that way. It’s as all those who push for some social change say, lifting up one group of people lifts all people.

      Thanks so much for your thoughtful and honest comment, Anna.

      Liked by 1 person

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