Category: Being a Lady

The Barnes and Noble People From Hell: A Rant

These people show up to the cafe section with their child– and before you scoff, I’ve got two children of my own– and you know what they do upon their arrival? Proceed to disrupt the thought processes of everyone around them. I get it. People have got to eat. And people have got to keep

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Talk Like a Lady

I know you probably haven’t met me in person, but if you had, I could probably ask you that question in the title and you’d probably have an answer for me. The reason for this? I’m pretty damn sure I have an inner ear problem because I apparently can’t not talk loudly. According to various sources–

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I left it in my other purse. This is why I never…!

purse and book by the water

“This is why I never change bags.” I was packing up some things recently and realized the gravity of my bag obsession when I needed one large box solely for storing my large bags. To clarify, this box didn’t include my handbags or clutches, which I also needed boxes for. Now, I don’t see a problem

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Pointing with my knuckles.

I’m a sporadic sort. Flighty, inconsistent, unreliable. I’m a free-spirit damn it! I’m not ashamed of it, but I am often ashamed of the consequences of it. When it comes to my failures at being a lady, the thing that shows my inconsistency more than anything else is probably the condition of my nails.

Flashback: Hotdog

I just had a flashback. Cue pulse of blinding white light. I’m in the past. I’m sitting on the floor in the tiled hallway of my childhood home; I’m talking on the phone with my boyfriend. The hallway was as far as the cord could reach. So I pulled the phone from the kitchen and had conversations in the hallway. My

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My Mother and Girl Power

So I grew up in the age of Girl Power. Us girls were told that we could do anything, be anything. We were presented with posters of women playing sports and dressed in astronaut gear. We were shown women in suits. Power suits with shoulder pads. You didn’t mean business if you didn’t have shoulder

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I Should Have Punched This Guy In the Lip

Part One: The door-to-door AT&T salesperson is a bona fide douche. So, the AT&T guy made himself quite comfortable in my home this evening. When I mention to him that he might be a murderer, which is perfectly normal, he laughs it off and says, “Why would I want to lie?” Ughhhh. Duhhhh. Cause you

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